Pool Cue News and Review

Mary Jane. Chronic. 4:20. Ganga. Reefer. Nugs. Cheeba. Whatever you like to call it, if you’re a pool player, chances are you like it. The reasons pool players like to smoke a fatty ranges from the logical to the absurd. “It helps me concentrate” said one pool player when asked about his proclivity for pot. “It really takes the edge off” said another.

One of my more vivid memories of a billiards event was the first time I went to the Super Billiards Expo. After the matches, we went up to a party hosted by Inside Pool. Walking in the door, the room was packed and smelled like a Cheech & Chong movie. Needless to say, there were lots of walkover victories the next day.

Whatever the case may be, there is no denying the ongoing love affair between pool players and their sticky buds.  So next time you’re at a billiards event, grab a blunt, blaze up and get ire.

I don’t get it, I really don’t. Do pool players think they’re professional wrestlers? Why must every pool player have a nickname? Do people really call Johnny Archer “The Scorpion”?  I know I’ve never seen anyone walk up to Karen Corr and say “Yo Irish Invader!  How ’bout a picture.”  What about “Little Devil Girl” for Ga Young Kim? I can see it now… some fat guy in overalls sitting in the rafters watching a WPBA event yelling out “Holy sheeeet! There’s Little Devil Girl!”

That isn’t to say that all nicknames are retarded. Jennifer “9mm” Baretta is pretty cute. At least her nickname goes with her last name in a way that makes sense. Now Megan “Magnum” Minerich on the other hand… pretty damn lame. Why not Megan “Montezuma” Minerich or “Malevolent” Megan Minerich or even “Mysterious” Megan Minerich? They all start with the letter M, which seems to be the only reason she chose it. And then there are the ones that truly are a mystery. Julie Kelly = Motor Molly. Earl Strickland = The Pearl. Actually, I get his nickname. Its ironic since the guy displays all the professionalism of a 4 year old, associating him with something dignified and classy like a pearl is quite a funny one.

Everyone should take a lesson from our favorite Austrian. Jasmin Ouschan could have some silly nickname if she wanted. We could all call her “Ice” with that pouty scowl, her cool demeanor at the table and that frozen rope of a break she has. But doing so would belittle her game. Instead, we can just call her Jasmin or Ms. Ouschan. She doesn’t need a nickname… her game and her titles speak for themselves.

Pool payers love beer. This is not a surprise to anyone considering the fact that most pool tables are in bars. What is somewhat surprising though is how strongly they feel about blue collar beer. Bud, Rolling Rock, Coors, Miller. These are the brews you’ll see in the hands of a pool player. Go into a pool hall and ask for an Anchor Steam or an Alpine Ale and not only will you not get a beer, you’ll likely be asked ever so politely to slowly sip your microbrew elsewhere.

It isn’t that pool players don’t enjoy a good beer. There’s just a different taste, a different aroma, a different feel that comes from pulling a pint and drinking a beer on tap. Whether its the blue collar, All American tradition of these brands, the fact that you don’t feel like you ate a loaf of bread after having a few or just really good TV ads, next time you’re in a pool hall, ask for a PBR or an Old Milwaukee. When in Rome, you do as the Romans do so when you’re in a pool hall, do as blue collar Americans do.

Dragon cues, dragon cases, dragon t-shirts, dragon tattoos, you name it. Pool players just can’t seem to get enough of those dragons. Go to an event like the APA Nationals and you’ll see so many dragons that you’ll think you’re in a D&D convention for ruffians.  Even pro players like Charlie Williams love dragons.  Charlie digs those dragons so much that he gave himself the nickname of “The Korean Dragon”.

Why are pool players so enamored with dragons? They’re fierce, ferocious and lets face it… they’re pretty damn cool. Don’t be fooled though, we’re not talking about Pete’s Dragon, Puff the Magic Dragon (scratch that… we’ll save Puff for another article) or that lame ass water dragon.  Pool players of the world, embrace your inner dragon.  Big Earl would be proud.