No, you pervs. When I talk about sharking I’m not referring to the thing in Japan where demented guys run around yanking every tube top they see.  There are plenty of other sites for that.  I’m talking about sharking from the traditional “I’m going to try to throw you off your game” perspective.

Now before I start with this series of posts, let me just say that I find sharking to be one of the most overblown excuses in pool. There is sharking in every sport, in every game. If you’re good at what you do, you’re going to be able to tune everything out and make your shot. If you can tune out “Hotel California” being played in nauseatingly heavy rotation, you can tune out standard sharking techniques. I mean seriously, how can pool players complain about the most miniscule movements when basketball players have to deal with things like Speedo Guy:

Anyhoo, getting back on task here, one of the most commonly used forms of sharking in non-tournament formats is what I refer to as “the talker”. You’re playing against some guy and he misses his shot. He goes and sits down, but while you’re trying to line up, he starts talking to you. This is just standard conversation stuff. Music, movies, beer, girls, whatev. He might even be complimenting you, telling you he likes your cue, you’ve got a great stroke, you get the picture. It doesn’t seem like he’s intentionally trying to throw you off your game, but that is exactly what he’s doing. You don’t want to sound like a dickhole, so you try and tune it out, focusing on your shot. Inevitably though, you miss, at which point the conversation stops so he can focus on his shot.

There are a couple ways to combat the talker. Your first option is to fight fire with fire. After you miss, keep the conversation going. Banter about the most inane stuff possible and keep it up the entire time he’s at the table. At the very least, you’re leveling the playing field and you don’t have to be the “would you kindly STFU” guy. Your second option is to stop shooting and fully engage in the conversation. If he asks you about your cue, go into the five minute soliloquy that I know you have memorized. Talk about the inlays, the points, the cue maker, the tip. Keep going until you can see it in his face that he’s had enough and go back to your shot. If he asks another question, rinse, wash and repeat until one of two things happens. Either he’ll stop asking questions or he’ll ask you to take your turn. If the latter occurs, just explain to him that you thought he wanted to talk because he kept asking questions while you were trying to shoot.