Leeeeettts Get Ready to Rummmmmble!!!
I know I’ve gone here before, but its worth repeating. I hate all the silly WPBA stage names. Not real nicknames mind you, just the fake, forced ones. When I see my pal who’s last name is Sullivan, I call him Sully (as does everyone else). That’s a real nickname. Next time I run into Yu Ram Cha though, there’s no way I’m going to walk up to her and say “hey Little Lightning, how’s it shakin”. Partially because she’ll look at me with the standard “I don’t speak your language” look (or is it the “ewww, get away from me creepy fat old man” look), and partially because no one other than Charlie Williams calls her that.
This is all coming up again by the way as a result of the DP press release that came out the other day for the Predator 10 Ball thing in Vegas. Here’s how the release opens:
“The Black Widow, The Duchess of Doom, The Texas Tornado, Kwik Fire, Little Lightning, G-Force, and The Viper are some of the names of the super powered billiard women attacking the 9th Annual Predator International 10-Ball Championship.”
Just to clarify, there’s a big difference between nicknames and stage names. Since I’m still all aflutter over my new friendship with Jennifer Barretta, we’ll use her as an example. Jennifer’s NICKNAME is Jenn. That’s what she calls herself, that’s what her friends call her (I think anyway). Jennifer’s STAGE NAME is 9mm. I’ve actually never seen anyone call her that except in press releases and event write-ups.
So, I’m putting my foot down. Until the WPBA hires Michael Buffer to start doing match announcements for ESPN and the ladies come out of a smoking tunnel to their own theme music, I am calling for an end to the use of stage names for pool players. Except of course for Macho Man Sarah Ellerby, because she’s got one devastating flying elbow.
Come to think of it, I’d love to see Debbie Schjodt coming out of a smoking tunnel to the sound of Scorpion’s “Rock You Like A Hurricane”, cue case slung over her back, both hands in the air with the traditional headbanger devil horns and hair swinging all over the place. Now that would be an entrance worthy of using a stage name.
